Trish's Escape from Hardware Hell


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System Problem Report Form

This is a form to make the reporting of problems consistent, allow records of problems to be kept in our ultimate knowledge base, and last but not least it is a sophisticated method of discouraging users from reporting faults in the first place.
Your Name:
The Date?
The date of the first occurrence:
Problem Severity: Minor Less Minor
Miscellaneous Trivial
Nature of the problem: Locked Up Frozen Hung
Strange Smell Gobbled off

Which machine?
Which areas are at fault? Communications  Network
User  Disk  Mouse  Rats
Keyboard  Drums
Manufacturer  Screen
Your manager  Duh I don't know Everything
Is it plugged in? Yes No
Is it turned on? Yes No
Has it been stolen? Yes No
Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes No
Have you made it worse? Yes No
Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes No
Have you had "a friend" who "knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes No
Did he make it even worse? Yes No
Have you read the manual? Yes No
Are you sure you read the manual? Yes No
Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? Yes Can't find it
If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes No
If "Yes" then why can't you fix it yourself?

Is the equipment unexpectedly noisy? Yes No
If "Yes", what sort of noise? Grinding Whirring
Scraping Whining
Sandpaper A pig farting
Rattling
Have you given the machine a good whack on the top? Yes No
Is there a smell of burning? Yes No
If "Yes" is the equipment on fire? Yes Not yet
If "Yes", why are you sitting in front of it?

Is the fault repeatable? Yes No
If "No", then why are you worried about it?
If "Yes", then why are you still doing that?
What were you doing (with the equipment) at the time the fault occurred?
If "nothing", explain why you were logged in.
Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes No

Did you install any non-corporate standard software on your computer recently? Yes No
Did any non-corporate standard software magically appear on your computer recently that you don't have a clue where it came from? Yes No
Did a co-worker force you to install some non-corporate standard software on your computer recently? Yes No
Are you interested in our non-corporate standard software installation witness protection program? Yes

Describe the problem.
Now, describe the problem accurately.
Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem.

How does this problem make you feel?
Tell me about your childhood.

Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00? Yes What's a VCR?
Do you have any electronics products that DO work? Yes No
Do you have a copy of "PCs for Dummies"? Yes No
Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes No
Can you do something else instead of bothering me? Yes

         

 

 
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Updated 07/06/04

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